Let's get fucked up and die..I'm speaking figuratively, of course..Like the last time that I committed suicide.. social suicide..Yeah, so I'm already dead on the inside,But I can still pretend with my memories and photographs,I have learned to love the lie.I wanna know what it's like to be awkward and innocent, not belligerent.I wanna know how it feels to be useful and pertinent and have common sense.. yeahLet me in, let me in to the club, cuz I wanna belong,And I need to get strong, and if memory serves,I'm addicted to words and they're useless.(In this department)Let's get fucked up and die..I'm riding hard on the last lines of every lie,And the BMX bike of my life is about to explode,I'm about to explode.I'm a mess, I'm a wreck.I am perfect, and I have learned to accept all my problems and short comings,Cause I am so visceral, yet deeply inept.I want to thank you for being a part of my forget-me-nots and marigolds..And all the things that don't get old..Is it legal to do this? I surely don't know.It's the only way I have learned to express myself through other peoples' descriptions of life..I'm afraid I'm alone and entirely useless...(In this department)Let's get fucked up and die.For the last time with feelingwe'll try not to smileAs we cover our heads and drink heavily into the nightsThat still shock and surprise.I believe that I can, overcome this and beat everything in the endBut I choose to abuse for the time being,maybe I'll win, but for now I've decided to die.Sister soldierYou’ve been such a positive influence on my mental frameIf I could ever repay you, I would, but I'm hard up for cashAnd my memory lacks initiative.God damn the liquor store's closed,we were so close to scoringit hurts, it destroys 'til it kills..I am tired and hungry and totally useless.(In this department)
2 comments:
"Behind my mask, I shall hide. No one will ever know the true me, behind the lies I weave."
Meaningful piece, Spencer. Although I'm starting to wonder if this is you, or the other you. Everyone always have two characters; the one inside, the true you, and the one outside, the one you show. It is hard to see both, but you can easily destroy your barrier to let others in.
I wonder why you write like this. It was pleasant to read at first, but I'm starting to think that this might be a problem. Let's talk
- Andy
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